We at Infinity Flowerbox love love, but we also love helping you find the right one. So, before you get carried away with passionate declarations of love, let us show you how to ask your sweetheart out on a date.
Tell him/her that it's a date
This may seem obvious, but in today's age of dating apps and casual acquaintances that are flourishing more than ever, it can be easy to be unsure whether it's a date or just a meeting among friends.
Be clear about your expectations from the start, as this can save you and your future date a lot of confusion and stress.
How to know for sure
Aside from the fact that there is mutual sympathy between you and you would like to meet for a date, there are some important factors that will give you the certainty that it is a date and not just an appointment:
You have to make a plan
Pay attention to what your potential date wants and get to know the person so that you can plan a date that they will enjoy. Asking someone out on a date is often just as nerve-wracking as being asked yourself.
Of course, you also want to have fun, so try to plan something that sparks interest in both of you. After all, a successful date begins and ends with preparation.
Just the two of you
Again, this point may seem obvious, but it is a crucial part of asking for a date. You don't want your first date to turn into a double date where your date ends up being more interested in the other person's date than in you, à la Harry & Sally. Just start with a date for two, then you can take the time to get to know each other better.
Focus on the person you're with
At worst, dates can be tiring and unremarkable for everyone involved. Make sure it's a good experience for both of you by listening attentively to your date, making an effort to get to know them better, and focusing on the moment. That means: no cell phones at the table. It's just distracting!
Find the right time
Even though it may be tempting for some to jump right in, when you meet your date, don't overwhelm them with questions and information right away. Take it slow. After all, you want to give yourself the best possible chance of success while also ensuring that the other person feels comfortable and not pressured when you ask for a date.
As with most things in life, timing plays a crucial role in whether or not you will be successful in your efforts. Good timing relies on a strong intuition and a keen sense of awareness, so you are better able to interpret signals and know when the right moment has come to make your move.
How well do you know each other?
If you are basically strangers, you should be especially careful to ask for a date as unobtrusively as possible. This means that you should not interrupt them during important moments, such as phone calls, when they are busy.
If you don't know each other, you should instead remain casual, find common ground if possible, read their body language and non-verbal cues to gauge initial interest, and approach the matter naturally.
If you know each other well – perhaps you have been friends for a long time and are very close. To take your relationship to the next level, you should first be quite sure that the other person feels the same way. Rejection hurts enough as it is, but it can be even worse when it comes from a friend who you already care about and trust.
How to ask?
Since we have only given you some information about the first date and now you know when is the best time to ask for a date, we can now talk about the "how". How do you go about asking for a date? What is the "roadmap"?
Every situation is different because every person is unique, but we have some general tips that will at least help you successfully ask for a date.
Initiate an interesting conversation
Yes, that means you have to leave the small talk behind, because, believe it or not, most people generally don't like it. Take a moment to think about whether you really enjoy being asked boring questions about what you do and where you come from.
Small talk has become so commonplace in our lives that we all tend to start a conversation that way. Instead, you are more likely to successfully ask him or her for a date if you start an engaging conversation that reflects who you are and shows that you are genuinely interested in getting to know the other person.
Examples of such conversation starters are
Ask for advice, ask a thought-provoking question, or share common interests (e.g. movies, music, or books that you like). This way you get to know each other as people and you can sit back and just have a fun conversation.
Be prepared
We've touched on this before, but we'll mention it again because it simply can't be said often enough: preparation is key to asking him or her out on a date. If you've found out a little more about your potential date, it will be much easier to make a connection between you.
It's also always nice to have a little something with you on a first date, because nobody likes to stand there with "empty hands". In our blog post “Infinity Gift Guide for Date Night” we have put together various gift ideas for dates.
Ask targeted, thoughtful questions
If the timing and interest are right, all you really have to do is ask for a date. Make sure you accurately describe your expectations and plans for the date, as any vagueness or ambiguity leaves room for anxiety and doubt.
You should also try to be as considerate of your date as possible by suggesting meeting in a public place where there is little pressure. This can be anything from visiting a nice café to having a casual lunch. Both will help you get to know each other without much at stake.
Acceptance
If you have followed our guide and it is still a no, you must accept it and move on, even if it is a disappointment for now. The fact that you were brave enough to ask someone out on a date already speaks volumes about you.
You are worth a lot and will make someone very happy one day. After all, not everyone is "the right one", but you will never succeed if you don't even try.