At Infinity Flowerbox, we love love, but we also love helping you find Mr. or Ms. Right. So before you go overboard with passionate declarations of love, let us show you how to ask the person of your heart out on a date.
Tell him/her that it's a date
This may seem obvious, but in today's age of dating apps and casual acquaintances flourishing more than ever, it can be easy to be unsure whether it's a date or just a meet-up between friends.
Be clear about your expectations right from the start, as this can save you and your future date a lot of confusion and stress.
How to know for sure
Apart from the fact that you like each other and would like to meet for a date, there are some important factors that will give you the certainty that this is a date and not just a date:
You need to come up with a plan
Be attentive to what your potential date wants and get to know the person so that you can plan a date that he/she will like. It's often just as nerve-wracking to ask someone out as it is to be asked out yourself.
Of course, you also want to have fun, so try to plan something that will arouse the interest of both of you. A successful date begins and ends with preparation.
Just you two
Again, this point may seem obvious, but it's a crucial part of asking for a date. You don't want your first date to turn into a double date where your date ends up being more interested in the other person's date than in you, à la Harry & Sally. Just start with a date for two, then you can take the time to get to know each other better.
Concentrate on your counterpart
At its worst, dating can be tiring for everyone involved and nothing special. Make sure it's a good experience for both of you by listening carefully to your date partner, making an effort to get to know them better and focusing on the moment. This means: no cell phones at the table. It's only distracting!
Find the right time
Even if it may be tempting for some to start immediately. When you meet your date partner, don't overwhelm them with questions and information straight away, but take things slowly. After all, you want to give yourself the best possible chance of success and at the same time make sure that the other person feels comfortable and not pressured when you ask them out.
As with most things in life, timing plays a crucial role in whether or not you will be successful in your endeavors. Good timing relies on a strong intuition and a keen sense of awareness, so that you are better able to read signals and know when it is the right moment to make your move.
How well do you know each other?
If you are basically strangers, you should take special care to ask her/him out as unobtrusively as possible. This means that you should not interrupt her/him at important moments, such as phone calls, when s/he is busy.
Instead, if you don't know each other, keep it casual, find common ground if possible, read his/her body language and non-verbal cues to gauge initial interest, and let things happen naturally.
If you know each other well - maybe you've been friends for a long time and are very close. To take your relationship to the next level, you should first be pretty sure that the other person feels the same way. Rejection hurts enough, but it can be even worse if it comes from a friend you already care about and trust.
How do you ask?
Now that we've given you some information about the first date and you know the best time to ask someone out, let's talk about the "how". How do you go about asking for a date? What is the "schedule"?
Every situation is different because every person is unique, but we have some general tips that will at least help you ask out successfully.
Initiate an interesting conversation
Yes, that means you need to ditch the small talk because, believe it or not, most people generally don't like it. Take a moment to think about whether you really enjoy being asked boring questions about what you do and where you're from.
Small talk has become so commonplace in our lives that we all tend to start a conversation that way. Instead, you're more likely to successfully ask him or her out if you start an engaging conversation that both reflects who you are and shows that you're genuinely interested in getting to know the other person.
Examples of such conversation starters are
Ask for advice, ask a thought-provoking question or talk about common interests (e.g. movies, music or books you like). This way you get to know each other as people and you can sit back, relax and just have an entertaining conversation.
Be prepared
We've touched on this before, but we're mentioning it again because it simply can't be said often enough: Preparation is the key to asking her or him out. Once you've found out a little more about your potential date, it will be much easier to make a connection between you.
It's always nice to have a little something with you on a first date, because nobody likes to be "empty-handed". In our blog post "Infinity gift guide for dates", we have summarized various gift ideas for dates.
Ask specific, thoughtful questions
If the timing and interest are right, all you really have to do is ask for a date. Make sure that you describe your expectations and plans for the date precisely, as any vagueness or lack of clarity leaves room for anxiety and doubt.
You should also try to be as considerate of your date as possible by suggesting they meet in a public place where there is little pressure. This could be anything from a visit to a nice café to a casual lunch. Both will help you get to know each other without a lot at stake.
Acceptance
If you've followed our guide and it's still a no, you need to accept it and move on, even if it's a disappointment for now. The fact that you were brave enough to ask someone out is already a testament to you.
You are worth a lot and will make someone very happy one day. After all, not everyone is "the one", but you will never succeed if you don't even try.